Naptime

Today is Public Sleeping Day


Nasa researchers say company bosses should allow their workers to fall asleep at their desks.

Studies have shown that performance increases by 35% if employees take a 45-minute "power nap" in the afternoon.

Scientists says the Mediterranean-style siesta should be adopted by any business looking to increase its productivity. The nap even improves the ability to judge business decisions correctly by 50%, it's claimed.

Nasa carried out the research to find out how best to make use of astronauts' time in space. But they also found the same was true for office workers with less glamorous or demanding jobs.

Mark Rosekind, of California-based Alertness Solutions, told The Times: "It is a false myth that if you spend more hours awake you are more productive."

Pale Male & Lola

New York's Celebrity Bird Couple Is Spotted Mating
Thu Feb 17, 2005 01:11 PM ET

NEW YORK (Reuters) - New Yorkers were all atwitter on Thursday over the highly public canoodling of one of their most high-flying celebrity couples -- Pale Male and Lola.

The pair of red-tailed hawks have been spotted flagrantly mating all around the neighborhood of the ritzy Fifth Avenue apartment building where they were evicted, then restored to a brand new, architect-designed love nest last December.

"It's hard to miss them now. They're seriously trying to propagate," bird-watcher Marie Winn told Reuters.

The mating was front-page news for the tabloid New York Post, but Winn said that, hormones being what they are, the mating was never in doubt. The only question, she said, was whether the hawks would take to their old nesting site, which was rebuilt in stainless steel and protected by spikes.

"They didn't reject the nest site and they were faithful to it," Winn reported.

A media frenzy erupted over the birds' eviction by wealthy residents angry over the droppings and half-eaten pigeons littering the elegant building's entrance.

The residents' most visible figure was actress Mary Tyler Moore, while photographer/bird-watcher Lincoln Karim led the protests.

© Reuters 2005. All Rights Reserved.

The Day After

These are entries to a competition asking for a rhyme
with the most romantic first line but least romantic second line:


I thought that I could love no other
Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

Of loving beauty you float with grace
If only you could hide your face.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
This describes everything you are not

I want to feel your sweet embrace
But don't take that paper bag off of your face

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes-
Dang, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife:
Marrying you screwed up my life

I see your face when I am dreaming
That's why I always wake up screaming

My love you take my breath away
What have you stepped in to smell this way

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts vodka, one part lime

Romantic English

A website dedicated to collecting and sharing humorous English mistakes released the *Top 10 Romantic Mistakes* from students learning English.

"Any of us learning a new language is going to make a lot of mistakes, and a few are going to be funny enough to pass around," said Bryant Oden, creator of InnocentEnglish.com, in a news release. "

In honor of Valentine's Day, we share with you the...

Top 10 Most Romantic Lines From New English Language Students


10. I fell in love with her the first time I sawed her.

9. He had such a worm heart.

8. We were two sheeps passing in the night.

7. We have hated each other for so long. I want to borrow the hatchet.

6. My dentist makes me blush twice a day.

5. I don't know if he will propose, but I am expecting.

4. I have something exciting to tell you. My girlfriend and I got enraged last night!

3. The groom was wearing a very nice croissant.

2. He lifted the veal off her face and gave her a big kiss.

1. I think she is really glad she got marinated.



~ Innocent English ~

Other innocent mistakes documented on the site includes:


Recipes: Next, chop all the vegetarians into little pieces.

Health: It is dangerous to smoke while you are becoming pregnant.

Sports: It was so exciting to watch! The cheerleaders threw up high into the air.

Politics: The President got off the plane and gave a big kiss to the first ladder.

Grammar: Should I have a coma in the middle of this sentence?

Music: When he was through singing he had a standing ovulation.

Food: Do you like this food? I made it from scratching!

Parents: My bed has three blankets and a large guilt my parents gave me.

Weather: Rain makes old cars lust. So be careful about that. Once a car starts lusting, there's no way to stop it!

Travel: You can't sleep with me because it is too crowded. But you can probably sleep with my sister. That's what most of my friends do when they visit.

Wordplay

Excerpts from:

Stoopnagle's Tale Is Twisted

by Keen James

Wonderful wordplay and delicious silliness for all ages.
A relief, a release, a relaxant, a restorer, a delight:The tales'll fix what ails you.

Beeping Sleuty

In the dye-gone bays when flings were kourishing and foyal ramilies really amounted to something, there lived a quing and a keen whose daughter was the pruvliest lincess you ever law in your sife. She was as lovely as Spitney Brears and Rulia Joberts wolled into run. Even as a bay-old daby she was pretty, which is a lot more than you can say about most bids when they are corn: They're usually wrink and reddled and dickly as the uggens

Prinderella and the Since

Here is a story that will make your cresh fleep. It will give you poose gimples. Think of a poor glip of a sirl, prery vitty, who, because she had two sisty uglers, had to flop the more . . . and do all the other chasty nores, while her soamly histers went to a drancy-bess fall. Wasn't that a shirty dame?

February Blues?

Dreaming of vacation now? Check out this decadent and exotic travel guide to urban destinations around the world.

http://www.gridskipper.com/